If someone you know has been sexually assaulted
When supporting a survivor of sexual violence it is important not to be judgmental and not to take control away from the survivor. If you can communicate the following four ideas to the survivor, it will generally assist healing:
“I’m glad you are alive.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry it happened.”
“You did the best you could.”
What To Do
- Allow the survivor to make her/his own choices whenever possible. Even the smallest choices that s/he makes begins to restore her/his sense of power which was completely taken from her/him during the assault.
- Be a good listener. Do not give advice. Allow the survivor to make her/his own decisions. If the survivor asks what to do, offer a couple of options and let them choose.
- Always respect the survivor’s confidentiality. Do not tell anyone else that s/he was assaulted. Unless the survivor gives you explicit permission. It is important to take care of yourself, too, but do not reveal the survivor’s identity to anyone.
- If the survivor feels guilty because s/he did not fight back, tell her/him that fear often inhibits people and cooperation is not consent.